Just for fun...

[Bill]

A friend who's "so afflicted" was relating the tale of being out on Lake Erie this past weekend, and having an unexpected meeting with a sand bar.  Not a good thing, obviously, and the moreso since in many parts of the Great Lakes (and this was one such), the "sand" that makes those things up is more like sandstone than beach sand...   

Anyhow, he ended the story with the best line I've heard in a while.  "You know what 'boat' stands for...", he said, "Bust Out Another Thousand."   

[Bill]

An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.

They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, 'Corned beef and cabbage!  If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building.'

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, 'Burritos again!  If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too.'

The blonde opened his lunch and said, '   Bologna again!  If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too.'

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, 'If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!'

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, 'I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much.'

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

'Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch.'

[Bobby]

[NoelDowns]

That is funny... 10 minutes later and I'm still laughing... 

[Bill Assumpcao]

The blonde road painter

A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road. He was skeptical about hiring her, but she appeared enthusiastic and told him that she really needed the job. He explained to her that her work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road, and he set her up with her brushes and paint and got her started
After the first day, he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift. He told her that she did an excellent job and how pleased he was with her progress.
On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road. Her supervisor was surprised that on day one she had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway. He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure she would pick up her speed again.
On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, she only completed painting 1 mile of road. He called her into his office and asked her what was the problem, "On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road." "Can I ask you, what is the problem?"
"Well, she replied, I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can."

[Bill]

 

Unrelated, and non-blonde - ran acorss this line yesterday, and love it!

"'Bout as useful as Anne Frank's drum kit..."